i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
