I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
