He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
