How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
