i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
