I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
