everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
