Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I can't turn off my feet"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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