Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
