At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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