Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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