where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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