Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
