My cat gives me a boner
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
