the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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