Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You don't make any sense
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