THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
