Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Randomize
