Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you had me at cake vodka
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
