It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
