It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
