Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
