Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry tankers hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(516): View more from New York

She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.

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(574): View more from Indiana

I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Old men and throwing up are my life now.

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(281): View more from Texas

i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.

(1-405): View more from Oklahoma

which gay bar do you need a ride home from?

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(631): View more from New York

So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone

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(850): View more from Florida

i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.

(202): View more from Washington, DC

We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.

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