You surviving the open bar?
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Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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