addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
be right there i have to get my cape
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
