No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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