i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
