Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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