Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
