It's like God shit irony all over that family
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
