Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize