At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
