do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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