i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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