omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
