Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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