I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
