that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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