when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
