i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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