When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize