Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
