My liver just broke up with me...
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
