Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize