he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Farmville is her only friend.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
