I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
