piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
