im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize