Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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