just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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