with your own penis?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
