This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
