Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
